Life is random So is she
by Wing Atol
Summary: Akane and Joruri, sealed in ice ages ago, are back, wishing to destroy us. They're bitchy. They're violent. And they're... being forced to stay with Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara. Great. There goes the plans for world destruction. HieiXoc, KuramaXoc.
1. Hell Sisters Captured!

Life is Random. So is She.

Koenma sat on his chair, brooding. His eyes turned to the report he had read earlier. The Hell Sisters were back. They were back and pissed. And they wanted what they had tried to get before they were sealed in ice. World domination. Cheesy, right? Not with these girls. These girls wanted to drag all worlds into a hell even worse then the Hell that existed now. And then, when they were about to die, they would cause the apocalypse. And it was all for their amusement. Life was a game to them.

"Koenma, what'd you call us here for?!" Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara and Hiei walked into his room.

"Yusuke, Kuwabara, you may not know of them, but a terrible demon trio is on their way to drag all the worlds to a different world- a world worse than Hell itself." Koenma said.

"You don't mean... The Hell Sisters Teshigahara Akane and Amori Joruri?!"Kurama asked.

"Yes. They have freed themselves and are now in Tokyo. You MUST stop them, or at least separate them!" Koenma ordered. The boys, even the ones that had no clue what was going on, rushed back to Earth immediately.

Akane sat in the alley, a bunch of thugs surrounding her.

"Hey babe, your coming with US!" one of them grinned.

"I don't think so," she smirked. "In fact, I KNOW so." She took out a long, thick black chain with a blade attached to the end and swung it above her head, slicing the humans in half. She sensed powerful spirit energy coming near her. She cloaked the bodies, and turned into a black cat. At that moment, Hiei and Kurama turn into the alley.

_A _jaganshi!_Shit!_ Akane thought as she stared at the two demons. Hiei noticed this.

"This 'cat' seems to know alot about demons..." he said ominously.

At that moment, Akane knew she was in deep shit. Hiei appeared behind her and his _jaganshi_ eye was activated.

"Beware, _jaganshi_... you don't know who your dealing with." Akane said, still in cat form.

"Teshigahara Akane. The neko hanyaa of the Hell sisters. Powerful MOST of the time, but as a cat... completely powerless."

"Got me there... but I can run AND I can always transform back." at that moment the black cat bolted past Kurama and into the street.

"...She ran away." Hiei muttered.

Akane transformed back into a human as she passed a convenience store.

"Damn. Koenma must have sent them..." she muttered.

"Hello." Hiei stood in front of her.

"Aw damn it!" Akane smiled.

_She's... smiling? Why?_ Hiei wondered too little too late. Wind surrounded Akane, and when it died down, she was gone.

"Damn it!" Hiei growled.

Akane, who had been sitting on a giant bird (a cat demon who summons birds... how ironic.), smiled in satisfaction.

"Psych." a voice whispered in her ear. Akane couldnt turn around due to Hiei holding her from behind with one arm and holding his sword to her throat with the other, but he could tell she was seriously pissed, and she could tell it was Hiei.

"You do realize that the ONLY reason you caught me was because I haven't fully thawed out yet, right?" Akane asked.

"Yeah..." Hiei admitted ruefully.

"Good. don't want you gettin a swelled head." Akane smiled.

Hiei almost slit her throat right then and there.

"Your'e not in a position to make remarks like that, girl." Hiei growled dangerously.

"Who you callin girl? I was sealed in ice when I was 500! I'm 15,000 years old!" Akane snapped.

"...You look like a 14 year old human. I'll call you girl if I want to!" Hiei snapped back.

"Oh screw you!" Akane said childishly.

Hiei and Kurama dragged Akane, who put up quite a fight, to Koenma's place. Both boys, to everyone else's amusement, were covered in scratch marks, particularly on Hiei. Yusuke and Kuwabara tried (and failed) desperately not to laugh as they dragged Akane through the Spirit World.

"I see you caught the younger of the two, Akane." Koenma noted as he saw the scratch marks.

"Koenma? Why do you still look like a baby?" Akane asked.

"...Akane, I REALLY don't think that's a question your in position to ask." Koenma said through gritted teeth.

"And I REALLY don't care." Akane stated bluntly.

"I should seal you in ice again!" Koenma shouted.

"Try it, I DARE ya!" Akane hissed, cat ears popping out of her hair.

Hiei took the chance to examine Akane more closely now. Her eyes were yellow, like a cat's, and slitted. Her thick black hair had blood red streaks in it, and was in two short, thick pigtails, and the only color on her skin was a small rosy color on her cheeks. She was obviously enjoying the modern day, because she was in a black tee with the words, 'BITE ME' on it, blue jeans with chains coming from her front pocket and ending in her back pocket. Her belt was studded, with a broken heart shaped belt buckle. Her forearms were covered in fingerless gloves that went to her elbows, and she had a small, silver chain around one wrist, with an upside down cross hanging from it. All in all, pretty attractive... for a girl who looked 14.

"Hiei, Kurama, good job in apprehending Akane." Koenma said, bringing Hiei out of his thoughts. "I hope you don't mind if I transport your house to a pocket universe to watch over her and keep her away from her sister." he told Yusuke.

"No school! Alright!" Yusuke yelled.

"Of course, Hiei, Kuwabara and Kurama will be there too. Mainly to protect Akane from you."

Akane, of course, took that as an insult. "And just WHAT do you mean by that?! Even if I was a human I'd be able to kick his ass! And I wouldn't let him within a two meter radius of me anyway!"

"HEY!" Yusuke yelled. Everyone ignored him.

"Thats just it. After a few more moments, you'll have the basic powers of a powerful psychic human, and your strength wont really exist anymore." Koenma said. As he said that, a black spiked collar with a blood red bell appeared around Akane's throat.

"Ah! DAMN!" Akane hissed. She knew what it was. A divine seal. Feh. At least it looked cool.

Hiei smirked, amused at how adorable she looked when mad. (no, not like that.) Her cat ears were evened out and her eyes narrowed, and it didn't help that she had a very young looking face. She crossed her arms and pouted childishly. Her cat tail (which was a bit poof, might I add) was also now showing, twitching in agitation.

Kuwabara noticed this also. "KITTY!" he tried to hug Akane, who spinned around and punched him in the face.

"Touch me, or even get NEAR me, and I'll have you arrested." she hissed.

_How so?_ Hiei asked.

_I have connections. None to get me out of this situation. But still. They can land ANYONE I ask in jail._ she thought, smiling evilly.

_Kitty's got recourses._ Hiei thought, not realizing he had basically left his mind link with Akane open.

_WHAT did you call me?_ Akane almost hissed out loud.

_Do you prefer Chibi-Neko?_ Hiei asked, amused.

_I PREFER my actual name, _Jaganshi Akane snapped.

_Don't count on it, Chibi-Neko._ Hiei thought as Koenma opened a portal.

Hiei, being the bastard he is, pushed Akane into the portal roughly.

"OUCH!" Akane had landed on her head. How did that happen? I have no clue. She just did, okay?!

Hiei landed next to her, on his feet. "I thought cats landed on their feet." he said, puzzled a bit.

"Yeah, me too." Akane said, rubbing the back of her head. "But then again, I'm the first cat shoved into a pocket universe against my will."

"Does it matter?" Hiei asked.

"Earth rules do not apply in pocket universes! Not at first anyway..." Akane explained. _Dang it. I'm supposed to be a cat! So why's my luck run out? Damn you Lucky Cat! _She thought as everyone else entered the apartment.

_Lucky Cat?_ Hiei asked.

_Cats' (and cat demons') patron god. He brings humans good luck in whatever they need help in, but they give cats all out luck in everything. But every now and then luck runs out temporarily._(1)_ Damn it_. Akane muttered in her thoughts. _And WOULD YOU STAY OUT OF MY HEAD?!_

_...No._ Hiei answered.

Akane let out a low cat-growl.

"Akane-chan?" Kurama asked.

"DON'T call me that. It's bad enough that HE'S calling me Chibi-Neko, I don't need to be called 'chan'." Akane hissed.

Everyone backed away from Akane.

"I thought cats were supposed to be nice and cute..." Kuwabara muttered.

"To bad. I'm the bitchiest alley cat you'll EVER meet." Akane said, smiling ominously.

Kuwabara hid behind Kurama, shaking in fear. Akane smiled, satisfied, and sat down on the couch.

_Wonder when my luck is gonna kick in again..._ she thought absent minded.

_Never, if I have my way._ Hiei thought, but not to her. _As long as she doesn't find the gold bell that had been in her hair, she'll remain like this. And if Joruri finds it... she has yet to thaw out so we should be fine. ...I think._

Joruri, wearing a black coat to hide her features, walked around Tokyo, seemingly aimless. She turned into a bloody, copse filled alley way, to see a small golden bell laying in a pool of blood and water.

"Akane..." she muttered, holding the fragile bell in her clawed hands.

"A jaganshi and a fox in a human body... They had better hope I don't find them. We only just woke up, and I DO need some demons to kill... humans are to easy." Joruri smiled.

"But then... Akane will spill ANY blood, as long as she gets to kill." A cruel cold chuckle was heard throughout the district.

Akane was curled up in a corner of the couch like a cat. She had fallen asleep, letting her ears and tail show.

"It's kinda scary how innocent she looks right now." Kurama noted.

"Whats really scary is that she plots in her sleep. Some of this stuff she's dreamed up could create World Wars 3, 4, 5, and 6." Hiei said, eying her cautiously.

"And WHY are you going through her head?" Yusuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's kinda hard not too. She's freakin loud." Hiei growled.

_**CRASH!!!**_

Joruri entered Koenma's office.

"Hello there, Koenma. I'm looking for a little cat... Akane. I KNOW you have something to do with her disappearance, Koenma, and I don't like it when little goody-goodies like YOU kidnap her!" Joruri growled.

"...Even if I told you where Akane was, you wouldn't be able to help her. She's in a pocket universe now, guarded by my best team." Koenma said coolly.

"Your best team, huh? Well, I'll just have to find out for myself. Holding Akane in a pocket universe wont do you any good, so long as I have this." Joruri smiled, holding out the golden bell.

Using the magic properties of the bell, Joruri entered Koenma's mind, and in a matter of minutes knew everything about Akane's location, and 'Koenma's Best Team'. She let out a small chuckle and smirked.

"Later, loser. I'm going to go pick up my sister now." Joruri said, vanishing into a black portal.

Hiei sat on the windowsill, waiting for something exiting to happen. Right as the clock struck 12, Akane bolted up, laughing darkly.

"I feel very sorry for you, Hiei, Kurama... Joruri knows where I am and how to get here." She said, smiling.

_If both Hell Sisters are here... CRAP._ Hiei thought, pissed off.

Yusuke and Kuwabara started panicking, and Kurama couldnt help but glare at Akane.

"Don't blame me. Blame Hiei, for not disposing of my bell properly." she said when she noticed this.

"Bell?"

"Don't you guys know ANYTHING? Neko Hanyaa are born with a bell that not only supplies their link to the patron god of cats, it lets close ones find the owner of the bell if the bell and it's owner are separated. The bells are also full of reserve powers in case I need it. Hiei should have given it to Koenma but instead, he just left it in the alley way where he first found me." Akane smirked.

"...Hiei really IS to blame!" Kuwabara yelled.

Just as Hiei was about to punch Kuwabara, Joruri appeared in the middle of the room.

"My, such a small place. I'm surprised Akane hadn't gotten bored and killed you all yet." she said, looking around.

"Kinda CANT, Joru." Akane smiled, pointing to the divine seal around her neck.

"Ooh, that sucks. Well, even if Akane didn't kill you, I WILL." Joruri smirked, hands setting on fire.

"Yeah... for my own safety, I'll be behind the couch." Akane said, doing just what she said.

"Feh. Wuss." Joruri smirked.

"Says you! Miss 'I-don't-wanna-go-out-in-the-sun-it's-to-bright'!!!" Akane hissed from behind the couch.

Joruri chuckled a bit and turned to Hiei.

"So your the bastard who removed the bell." she said quietly.

She reached into her backpack and pulled out two swords linked by a chain.

Akane sensed this. It was the swords of Athena, stolen from the Roman temple 100 years before the sisters had been sealed.

"I am NOT cleaning up after you, ya hear me?!" she called.

"I wasn't gonna make you!" Joruri said, attacking Yusuke and Kuwabara first. They didn't dodge fast enough, each receiving large gashes on their torsos and or backs.

"Liar." Akane said as Hiei attacked Joruri.

Joruri smirked, kicking Hiei in the stomach with a steel-toed combat boot. Kurama attacked with his rose-whip, only barely managing to land a scratch on Joruri's cheek.

Akane sighed. _Why fight? Joruri would win no matter what. She was out of the ice a week before me, so she's thawed out more. They'll just die, so why try to delay the inevitable?_ she thought sourly.

Hiei shot Akane a glare upon hearing this. His eyes fell to the divine seal around her neck, and he grabbed part of the trim. Yes, he landed behind the couch. With the piece of the seal he had ripped off, he faced Joruri, who was about to stab Yusuke. Kurama saw this and silently told him to hand the piece over to him since he was closer. Hiei just 'Han'ed, tossing the divine seal to him.

_I- he- Joruri- OH SHIT THIS IS BAD!_ Akane thought, in a bit of a panic. "Joruri!" she yelled, a bit to late.

Kurama had the black piece of divine seal, which was growing larger for some reason, around Joruri's neck, and it now looked like a dog collar.

"And you couldnt have warned me before?!" Joruri snapped, glaring at Akane.

Joruri's hood was down, revealing flame-red hair and silver eyes, as well as the same snow-white skin Akane had. She also shared the claw-like nails, and the slightly rosy cheeks.

"I was panicking!" Akane said, hiding behind Hiei to avoid her sister's wrath.

_Don't hid behind me!!!_ Hiei snapped.

_And why not? This is all YOUR fault._ Akane snapped back.

"Don't blame me, onna!" Hiei growled.

"He speaks!" Akane and Joruri both gasped.

Koenma appeared in Yusuke's living room, observing the damage Joruri had done. He wasn't in his baby form.

"Koenma, your not a baby anymore! Did you have a growth spurt?" Akane asked.

"No you idiot! This is his real form!" Joruri said, slapping Akane upside the head.

"Oh."

"Baka onna." Hiei muttered.

"Says you." Akane hissed. "Are you sure your a man?"

"I am NOT a WOMAN!" Hiei yelled.

"Are you sure?" Akane asked, totally forgetting Koenma and everyone else. she had ONE thing in mind- ANNOY HIEI!

Hiei obviously sensed this, but it went in one ear and out the other. He was pissed. The one who pissed him off was right behind him. And he had a sword. She didn't. Should he? Shouldn't he? Oh what the hell.

**Well, that was the first one! Ha ha... so sorry if it sucks. Please, constructive criticism only if you can, and no flames. And I really am sorry about any grammar mistakes. By the way, what do you think of Akane and Joruri? And yeah, I know they have different clan names. But they ARE sisters. By the way, I will give a special guest appearance to the first person to guess what type of demon Joruri is. And no, unlike Akane, she is not a cat.**


	2. Who Captured Who?

Life is Random. So is She.

_**REVIEWS:**_

**Vexatious:** I'm glad you like it 

**Wingshad0w:** What happened at the end was that Hiei ripped a bit of the collar-shaped divine seal that Akane was wearing and Kurama put it on Joruri, sealing her powers since it was part of the divine seal and turned into a complete divine seal. Sorry if it was confusing. And good guess... but no. Maybe this chapter will clear things up a bit.

**blackrose4ever**: ZOMG you luv it! YAY!

Akane: Glad you like it! 

Joruri: Yea... whatever.

**m1dn1ghts ang3l:** i'll try to not be too slow. Glad you like it 

me: Thanks everyone! You all made my day!

_**END REVIEWS**_

Hiei drew his sword and swung at Akane. 

"EEP! What the hell!" Akane squeaked. 

"I think it's something you said..." Joruri said.

Hiei swung at Akane again. This time she ducked, and while his arm was still extended, closed in and kissed him on the cheek.

"Does she have a deathwish or somethin?" Yusuke asked Joruri.

"Ya know... I have NO CLUE." Joruri said._ Seriously... what are you up to?_

Hiei stumbled back in shock, blushing.

"Gotcha!" Akane smiled.

"Wh-what the HELL!" Hiei yelled.

"Hey, it got you to dtop attacking me, didnt it?" Akane asked, smiling cutely.

"So THATS what it was about. Anything to live to see tomorrow, huh?" Joruri asked, smirking. 

"NO. Just things I can get away with and still have my dignity." Akane laughed as Hiei tried to regain his composure.

Joruri burst out laughing, and then noticed Koenma. About time, too. He was chewing me out for not giving him a bigger role.

"So, now that you have us, what are you gonna do?" she asked.

"Bout time I was noticed! And I have decided to keep you here. Those divine seals will keep you in check, and while Yusuke and Kuwabara are in the hospital, Hiei and Kurama will be guarding you." Koenma said.

Akane tugged at the collar and bell around her kneck, growling a bit. The holy magic immediatly burned her skin, making her let go.

_It'll burn me if I try to take it off. Damn._ Akane thought bitterly.

_You WILL pay for that, onna._ Hiei told her silently.

_Oh? And what will you do? Blush me to death?_ Akane asked, smirking.

_...I hate you._

_Oh please, you know you love me!_ Akane laughed.

_No, I hate you. _

_Uh huh. And I'm a dog._

_DAMN IT I HATE YOU! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP!_

_Make me!_

Joruri, also a telepath, heard all this and laughed a bit as Koenma,Yusuke and Kuwabara went on their way to the hospital.

"What's so funny, Joruri?" Kurama asked.

"You should HEAR what they're saying to each other! It's ridiculous!" Joruri laughed.

"Do I even want to know?" Kurama asked, looking away.

"Well, seneshow Hiei is about to try to kill Akane agian, no." Joruri said.

Hiei was reaching for his sword again, obviously pissed off.

"Wow, you really DO love me!" Akane laughed. "I mean, why else would you try and attack me again?"

"Akane, be nice. We can torture them later." Joruri said.

"Aw... okay." Akane whined.

_She... was just fooling around to annoy me... all for her entertainment..._ Hiei thought angrily.

"Yes. Yes she did." Joruri confirmed. 

"Oh thats right. Hiei, you aint the only telepath here!" Akane laughed.

"Greeeeeeeeeeeat... and I thought having ONE telepath was bad enough... And Joruri doesnt know the definition of the word privacy!" Kurama sighed.

"Yeah. Joruri's TERRIBLE! I've given up on hiding my thoughts from her..." Akane laughed.

Hiei and Kurama both groaned mentally. This was gonna be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG week.

Akane and Joruri were shocked that they hadnt drove the two demons up the wall when Yusuke and Kuwabara got back. The humans were just as shocked, but then Kurama explained that the two were quite easy to ignore if you had loud enough music.

"Akane, Joruri? Koenma said..." Kuwabara began.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm about to want to KILL that little brat?" Akane asked.

"Well... he said that you two have to go to a human school." 

"THAT LITTLE BASTARD!" Akane yelled. Joruri began sharpening a butcher knife, her eyes dark with a murderous aura surounding her.

"That little brat needs to learn to sleep with one eye open!" both Hell Sisters growled.

_Lifes a bitch..._ Joruri thought.

"Fate is a cruel mistress. Not to mention a complete bitch. I should know. I've had lunch with her several times." Akane said, crossing her arms. 

"Really? Is she hot?" Kuwabara asked.

"Moron. Fate is fate. She HAS no appearence." Joruri said. 

"So Hiei, what type of demon is Joruri? You where here, you should know." Yusuke asked.

"All I know is that she's a carnivore, and she's looking forward to the full moon." Hiei muttered.

"Wow, their kinda slow, arent they?" Akane asked her sister.

"Yeah..."

Akane burst out giggling.

"Whats with her?" Kuwabara asked.

Hiei decided to peak into her mind to see whats so funny.

_When everyone goes to sleep, lets dress em up like girls, Joruri!_ Akane smiled.

_HELL YEAH! You cover the make up. I'll handle the dresses..._ Joruri yelled, excited.

"Oh HELL no! I'm not stickin around for THAT!" Hiei snapped.

"Oh fine. And I had such a nice plan for you anyway. Just dont tell the others." Akane said.

"Fine." Hiei muttered.

"Wait... whats going on!" Kurama asked.

"Nothing..." the hell sisters smiled. 

_Load of crap if you ask me._ Hiei told Akane.

_Hey, as long as you stay awake, you'll be untouched._ Akane smirked.

_I'll be sure to keep that in mind._ Hiei said, rolling his eyes.

_But be careful what you eat or drink. Akane is a MASTER at undetectable poisons._ Joruri chimed in.

"I'm skipping all meals today." Hiei stated.

"Damn!" Akane whined.

**THAT NIGHT...**

Akane and Joruri hit Yusuke's room first. Joruri took out a frilly pink maids outfit and some bunny ears, while Akane worked on his makeup, using blood red lipstick, blush, and purple-ish eyeshadow. 

"Quick! Lets get out of here!" Akane whispered when Joruri was ginished changing him.

"Yeah... on to Kuwabara's room!" Joruri agreed, taking out a school girl out fit.. 

**IN KUWABARA'S ROOM**

Akane applied the make up, as well as painted his nails and puting glitter stars and hearts on his cheeks and next to his tear duckts. Joruri struggled getting the school girl outfit on. 

"Well THAT scared me for life..." Akane muttered. 

"Seriously." Joruri agreed.

**IN KURAMA'S ROOM**

Akane took out black eyeliner, lipstick and nail polish as Joruri took out a black frilly dress. Yay goth lolita!

_Dang... he's got a pretty good body..._ Joruri thought. In Hiei's room, Hiei almost gagged.

Akane began curling Kurama's hair and then ran out of the room with Joruri, giggling like mad.

"Hope Hiei doesnt rat on us!" Akane said.

"If he does we'll pin the blame on him." 

"Okay!"

**THAT MORNING**

Three screams echoed throughout the three worlds. 

"WHO DID THIS?" Yusuke yelled.

"I dunno." Joruri answered.

"Beats me." Akane smiled.

"Who cares?" Hiei asked.

"WAIT! WHY ARE YOU UNTOUCHED!" Kuwabara snapped.

"Because whoever did that obviously doesnt like you three." Akane said.

"Something tells me a little CAT did this..." Kurama, who looked REALLY pissed off, growled.

"Who me? Couldnt be." Akane faked innocence.

"Then who did it?" Kurama asked.

"I dunno, I was to busy dreaming about-" Akane was cut off by Joruri.

"Hiei and how good he is in bed." 

"JORURI! THAT WASNT WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY!" Akane squeaked, blushing.

"Suuuuuuuuure."

"I was gonna say 'the worlds largest ball of yarn', you MORON!" Akane hissed.

"Uh huh." 

"Oh screw you!" Akane whined, running into her room.

Joruri burst out laughing, showing sharp canines **(The teeth that would be fangs on a vampire, for those who dont know. No, Joruri is NOT a vampire.)**.

"So are you guys gonna go change or what?" Joruri asked.

"We cant. Some one replaced our wardrobe with dresses, miniskirts and tanktops." Kurama muttered.

"He did it." Joruri said, pointing at Hiei.

"I hate you."

"Yeah, well you should have fallen asleep now, shouldnt ya?" Joruri smirked.

Hiei teleported into a random room... Akane's room, where she was plotting ways to kill Joruri.

"Chibi-Neko. Hold still and keep quiet for a minute." Hiei told her.

"Why should I?" Akane hissed before Hiei's hand flew to her mouth.

"Because I can land you in a VERY comprimising situation." he growled.

"You'd be in a just as bad situation, buddy." Akane smiled.

"But would Joruri let you live it down?" Hiei smirked.

"...OH SHIT! GET OFFA ME!" Akane squeaked.

"I said QUIET, baka!" Hiei snapped.

"RAPE!" Akane yelled, making everyone storm into the room.

"I will KILL you later." Hiei told her.

"Your fault for threatening me." Akane smiled.

_You enjoyed it, didnt you?_ Joruri asked.

"JORURI GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!" Akane squeaked.

**Sorry if it was a bit late. The contest from the first chapter still stands. **


	3. A day with Hiei, Akane's nature revealed

**Life is Random. So is she.**

**blackrose4ever**: DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNAH! Yes! Joruri is a wolf demon! A very VIOLENT wolf demon! You shall make a guest appearance in the story this chapter, and I used your profile for any information I might need.

**Wingshad0w**: you were close, but a bit off. Werewolves aren't really demons. Better luck next time. And that is a VERY good question!

**Darkside5454**: Thanks! It's not over yet- far from it! I just had major writers block. Sorry.

**Amaya100689**: Yay! I has talent! :D (The grammar error is supposed to be there)

**PirateXfangirl**: thank you. Yeah, some of the situations here will be

**DISCLAIMER: THIS CHICA ONLY OWNS ONE CERAMIC RABBIT, A PAPER MACHE VERSION OF THE DEMON BUNNY FROM MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLLY GRAIL, A PAPER MACHE EGG, A MILLION OC'S, A BANDAID, A COMPUTER, AND A BROKEN NECKLACE. I DO NOT OWN YU YU HAKUSHO. AND I LIKE PIE. I MEAN, WHO DOESNT? AND IF YOU DONT, YOU ARE AN EVIL PIE HATER AND MUST DIE.**

**Warning**: This chapter is mostly centered on HieiXAkane. No, I have no idea why. Probably because I don't want to write about school right now.

Akane woke up reluctantly when she sensed someone enter her room.

"Who ever it is, go away." she mumbled.

The person plopped down on her stomach, making Akane jump up... or try to anyway.

"Hiei?! What do you want?!" she hissed.

"You aren't going to school today." he told her.

"Best news I've heard ever since I thawed out!" Akane cheered.

"Because I'm kidnapping you."

"Scratch that. WORST news I've heard all day." Akane smiled. "Do I have a choice?"

"No." Hiei smirked.

"...Five more hours?" Akane asked.

"..."

"Please?" Akane asked, ears drooping.

"Fine..." Hiei growled.

"Yay!" Akane flopped back down onto her pillow. "...Can you get off me?" she asked.

She felt Hiei shift next to her and lay down.

_What the hell?! _Akane thought, slightly (IMMENSELY) panicky.

"You're nervous..." he whispered.

"Kind of... YOU try having your strength reduced to that of a human." Akane told him.

"And if you add the treat of ME and you SHOULD be nervous." Hiei smirked.

"Get away from me you stalker!" Akane said, trying to push Hiei away.

Hiei snaked his arms around Akane's stomach, pulling her close to him.

"You're wasting 5 hours." Hiei told her, pushing one of her pressure points and making her fall asleep.

Hiei sat up a bit, letting the cat demon sleep on him.

_Damn it, what am I doing? I don't even LIKE contact._ Hiei thought, blushing slightly. _...It'll pass eventually._

Hiei picked up a book that had been lying on the bedside table. He looked at the cover- **Snow Fire Sword. **He opened it up and began to read.

Akane woke up groggily, still in Hiei's arms. He looked down at her and pushed her off the bed.

"OW!" she squeaked.

"Come on. Get dressed." Hiei told her, putting **Snow Fire Sword** down.

"Then get out!" Akane hissed.

Hiei went out into the hall and waited for Akane, who stepped out shortly in a red vest over a black sweater and black Capri's and boots.

"Come on." Hiei said, pulling her arm.

"Where are we going any way?" Akane asked.

"We're staying here- we just have to hide first." Hiei said.

"Hide?"

"From Kurama and the others." Hiei said, with a _"are you drugged or something?"_ tone.

"Well excuse me! I only JUST woke up! So, SORRY for still being SLEEPY!" Akane hissed.

Hiei shot her a glare.

"Hey, you deserved that." Akane said after a moment.

"Whatever. Now come on." Hiei dragged Akane outside of the apartment.

"So I guess we're back in Ningenkai?" She asked.

"Yes. We returned at midnight." Hiei answered.

"Huh… Why does it seem so much more sinister?" Akane wondered out loud.

"What are you talking about?" Hiei asked.

"You don't sense it? That this world is in danger? And no, Joruri and I aren't the cause. This time, anyway." The small cat demon said.

"…No, I don't sense anything. But I am curious now… What do you believe is happening?" Hiei asked, knowing that the Hell Sisters were good at predicting the worse that was about to come.

"A gate connecting the demon world and this one… It's growing, but very slowly. Only a pin's prick small, currently… but enough to let a fowl air into the world." Akane said a distant look on her face.

Hiei thought back to the last time someone tried to open a gate to the Makai and the Ningenkai. It wasn't an incident he'd like to repeat.

"Can you pinpoint it?" he asked.

"No, not yet. Not big enough. To easy to miss. I'll try again when it's more noticeable." Akane, said, shaking her head.

Hiei sighed, and pulled Akane around the corner opposite of the one Yusuke usually took.

"As soon as we hear yelling down in the streets it should be safe to go back inside." Hiei told her.

"It's kinda weird. You don't strike me as the kinda guy who would hide from something." Akane said, chuckling.

"Keiko doesn't support skipping school, and her slaps can bring down an S-class demon. She comes by to pick up Yusuke every day." Hiei sighed.

"Oh. If this Keiko chick can do that, she must be something. Shame it's rather obvious that she's a sucker for the rules." Akane sighed as well.

Akane and Hiei watched as a brown haired girl walked up the stairs of the complex. Moments later, she was dragging Yusuke and sadly Joruri down them.

"How have things been in Makai? Since we were frozen." Akane asked after a while.

Hiei thought for a moment. "Makai is currently split into three major territories; which could shoot into an all out war any moment. Apparently Raizen decided to stop eating humans, and wants the other 'kings' to do the same."

"And he honestly believes they will do the same? I wonder what changed him." The small cat demon wondered.

"Who knows? Now let's go inside already." Hiei said.

"Wait… why do you, who didn't hesitate ONCE to express his hatred of humans, want to go into a human apartment?" Akane asked, raising an eyebrow.

"…Just come on!"

Hiei pulled Akane back inside Yusuke's apartment, and immediately picked up and read note left by Joruri for Akane.

_**Dear Akane **_

_**I noticed you and Hiei weren't here this morning. Well, you lucky little bitch, enjoy this little vacation while you can because as soon as I get home I'm dumping all your homework on you! But I must wonder what ARE you and Hiei doing? Nothing inappropriate I hope…**_

_**Yeah, that was a lie. I don't really care what you guys do. Just don't mess the place up!! Yusuke said I'd have to clean it if you did. But if you do mess it up, blame Kuwabara! Lord only knows how much that guy annoys me. Oh and Hiei, go easy on the lil kitten!**_

_**Joruri**_

Hiei and Akane stared at the note in horror.

"I… Will… KILL HER." Akane muttered finally.

"Not if I do first, Chibi-neko." Hiei growled.

Akane smacked Hiei upside the head.

"DON'T. CALL ME. THAT." She hissed menacingly.

The cat demon walked over to a space on the floor and turned on the television, when **Resident Evil: Apocalypse** came on. Akane cocked her head to the side, confused by the beginning, but then began gleefully giggling as undead appeared. Hiei sat down next to her, and they both began enjoying the movie.

Elsewhere, at school, Joruri glared out the window as hopeful boys who wanted to get with her and girls who wanted to be her friend crowded around her.

"Damn you Akane! You should be here suffering too!" she sighed under her breath.

She finally got pissed enough to punch (and obliterate) the nearest wall, scaring everyone off.

"Akane, when I get home I am SO not letting you live!"

Akane, back at the apartment, giggled as the news reporter got eaten by children.

"This movie is great! But really. Science? DOING THIS? Impossible!" Akane smiled widely as the children ate a surviving child.

Hiei smacked Akane upside the head, telling her to shut up. Akane glare at him, but continued watching the movie in silence. Joruri and Yusuke stormed into the apartment.

"What? I thought people could leave at noon. Why are you guys here?" Akane asked, not looking away from the movie.

"We got bored. Oh hey are those zombies?" Joruri asked, taking off the uniform's jacket.

"Yup."

Joruri sat down next to her younger sister, Yusuke following.

Akane laughed when the HIVE worker was eaten by the cripple he had shot moments ago.

_It's funny… her laugh… her voice… even her appearance… all look so innocent. But her mind is so dark and morbid…_ Hiei thought absent mindedly._ Her sister on the other hand… nothing about her is innocent._

Joruri looked at Hiei and then to Akane_. He's right… Her mind is the exact opposite of her._

The next day, Akane, in a school uniform, stalked into a class and saw Hiei.

"I didn't know you were forced here." She said, sitting down in front of him.

"I usually skip." He said simply.

"Ah. So why are you here today?"

"I wanna see you crash and burn on your first day of school."

"Asshole."

Akane sat down and groaned when the teacher came in.

"Miss Teshigahara, please come up and introduce yourself." He said. His voice was like that of a closet pervert, and he was obviously a pedophile, interested in Akane's human body.

Akane walked up to the front of the class, a smug smile on her face.

"I'm Teshigahara Akane. Come any where NEAR me and I'll break your fingers, boys. And a warning for the girls- anyone who I consider preppy will loose their womanhood if you piss me off. As for you, sensei, I think it'd be best if you go commit suicide right now." She said, smiling.

She sat down in front of Hiei again, smiling but giving off a deadly aura. One courageous girl sitting next to her smiled. She had long brown hair and brown eyes, as well as tanned skin. (I'm using your picture on your profile. Kay?)

"Hi! I'm Kana!" she said.

"Uh… what?" Akane asked, a confused look on her face. "You're ignoring that little warning? Then again you aren't preppy so… maybe. You're a maybe." Akane muttered.

Kana looked away, a confused smile gracing her face. _What an odd girl…_ she thought.

At the end of the day, Joruri wandered to the park, Akane following like a baby chick.

"Joruri! This might not be so bad." She smiled to her elder sister.

"Yeah… and maybe the moon is made of cream cheese." Joruri smirked.

"Aw, haven't you risen to the top of your class through pure intimidation yet?" Akane asked.

"Yeah… It's just so boring." The wolf demon sighed.

"Hm… You know, some human talked to me today. Name was Kana. She seemed pretty 'aware' for a human." Akane smiled.

"Really? Are you going to toy with this one as well?" Joruri asked.

"Maybe… unless I find someone funner." Akane smirked.

Akane had been friends with many humans on a whim before the sisters had been sealed, but she only befriended them to toy with them, and eventually to kill them or make them suffer. It had been, and always would be, her favorite hobby.

"You, my little sister, are a traitorous little bitch when it comes to humans and many demons as well." Joruri smirked.

"I suppose. Ah well, it can't be helped. Second chances never matter, dark hearts always stay dark." Akane smiled grimly.

**Oh god, I am so sorry this is late. Please forgive me.**


	4. In wich Joruri hears voices

Life is Random

**Life is Random. So is she. Chapter Four.**

**Darkside5454**: Yay violence indeed :D Yes, they are rather dark and violent.

**OoOlady heatherOoO:**Will do! And thanks, I'm so glad you like it!

**Hikari-Kayko:**I update nao yay! :D Gawd I'm such a dork. :P

**Woot! Inspiration has hit! Let muffins rain down from the sky in joy! And while the holy muffins rain down, I must say this: I only own Joruri and Akane.**

_Thunder. Lightning. Fire. A girl stands before him. She looks like Akane- same height, same face, same cat ears and tail… Her eyes flash dangerously. Two red striped are on her cheeks, and she's wearing a kimono… a rather revealing kimono, I might add._

"_Silly Hiei… you should know by now that you can never tame me." She giggles malevolently. _

"_Damn cat!" Yusuke tries to attack her from behind. She immediately envelopes him in ice cold fire. Is that even possible? … Apparently it is._

"_Traitor." _

_She looks at me._

"_I really don't think you have room to talk." Joruri says from behind. _

"_Besides… I was never on your side to begin with." Akane smiles, rubbing my cheek with her hand and stabbing me. _

Hiei shot up in a cold sweat. It was just a dream. Or, to be more exact, a nightmare.

"Hiei, Joruri wanted me to tell you to stop having panicky dreams about us killing you all." Akane called from behind his door.

"Oh shut up!" Hiei snapped.

The door slammed open, revealing a very pissed off Akane, cat ears flattened in annoyance.

"Listen you, just because I have this damn Divine Seal does NOT mean I can't come over there and castrate you!" she hissed.

"You wouldn't."

"I have the knife right here!" she smirked, holding up a kitchen knife.

Hiei got up and walked over to her, grabbing her wrist.

"Just because you have the knife doesn't mean anything." He whispered in her ear. "You still have the strength and the speed of a human. And where'd you get a kitchen knife?!"

"Oh, this? Kurama is letting me help him cook." Akane smiled innocently.

"And he actually trusts you?" Hiei asked, raising any eyebrow.

"No. He hid my poisons, anything I could turn into poison, and made me swear an oath not to try to kill and or harm anyone." She sighed sadly.

"Yet you just threatened me."

"You don't count."

"And why the hell not?!" Hiei asked, miffed.

"So you'd rather be considered an idiot who can't defend himself?" Akane asked.

Hiei looked at her dumbfounded for a second, releasing her wrist and letting her escape back to the kitchen.

_Get back here Chibi-Neko!_ Hiei growled.

_No, the pancakes will burn and I still have some sausages to cut. _Akane answered shortly.

_Huh?_

_Omelets, silly! _

Hiei walked into the main room where he saw Akane donning a nice, pure white and rather frilly apron. It didn't help that she had been convinced to wear a dress that day, either. As much as he hated to admit it, she looked downright adorable. The dress she wore was also a bit frilly, had a rather poofed up skirt and long sleeves, and was a nice light blue color. She also wore long white socks that she had to tie around her legs with a sky blue ribbon to keep them up. Botan must have had something to do with this.

Akane looked at him.

"Hiei, eyes go in your sockets." She chuckled.

"Who'd wanna look at you?" he asked childishly, sticking out his tongue.

"You just were!" Akane said just as childishly.

"Was not."

"Hiei, Akane, stop denying you're never ending love for each other, would ya?" Joruri asked.

"What love?!"

"I don't see any love here!"

Both small demons growled, and Akane resumed her cooking duties. Kurama also resumed, having had stopped to watch the little argument. He was in charge of whisking the eggs for the omelet.

_Those two are a buncha idiots._ Joruri sighed.

_Yeah, but they both are demons who were only able to trust one other person… maybe none for Hiei. You can't blame them for wanting to deny these feelings._ Kurama smiled.

_Hey, lemme alone._ It was the wolf demon's turn to be childish.

_**You're just as reclusive as they are.**_ A voice said.

_The fuck!? Who the fuck are you?! _

_**Your more sensible side, you twit.**_

…_I have a sensible side? _

**Yes. Now, let's talk. You admitted that you think Kurama has a nice body. And you haven't said anything rude to him about his personality yet, right?**

…_Maybe._

_**Face it hun, your in love with everyone's favorite fox.**_

_What was your first clue?_

_**Wait, you knew this the whole time?!**_

_Yep. _

_**Ah! You bitch!**_

_Takes one to know one. _Joruri smiled smugly.

_**Anyway, you gotta go help your sister with her little problem now.**_

_You mean that dress?_

_**No. The one with Hiei.**_

_She can figure it out on her own._

_**Fine, bitch. I'm going now.**_

_Bye. _

Joruri waited a moment. Her head was nice and quiet again. "Yay! The voices in my head are gone and I didn't have to use any q-tips!" she cheered.

Everyone looked at her.

"That was probably the most Akane-y thing you have ever said…" Yusuke muttered.

"But I don't hear voices…" Akane mumbled.

_'Cept for Hiei when he decides to probe my mind. _She added in her mind.

Finally the cat and the fox finished cooking, and everyone sat at the table.

"Yusuke, Kuwabara, I expect you two to have table manners for ocean your miserable, pathetic lives." Akane said mysteriously.

"And if we don't? Kurama DID tell us you promised not to threaten or harm anyone today." Yusuke smirked.

"I did, but Joruri didn't." Akane smiled. "And believe me, she's merciless."

"Oh…" For once the two boys ate normally, so breakfast was relatively quiet.

"Akane, you look rather nice today. Is there any occasion?" Kurama asked.

"…Botan made me. She said she'd get me one of those really painful divine seals if I didn't cooperate." Akane admitted quietly.

_Botan has a malicious side? Damn_. Hiei thought.

"I'm sure Hiei would like it if you dressed this way more often." Joruri smirked.

"Joruri, just because you're my sister does not mean I won't hurt you!" Akane hissed, blushing.

"Hiei, you like this, don't you? I mean, look how cute she is! Like a little, innocent, submissive doll!" Yusuke smiled perverted.

"_YUSUKE URAMESHI, IF YOU DON'T TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW I SWEAR I WILL MURDER YOU!_" Akane yelled, standing up abruptly. Yusuke apologized, stuttering.

Hiei watched as she stormed to her room. He had to admit, he did like the sound of her being submissive… what? Get your mind out of the gutter, you perverts! He wanted her to be nice and quiet, not loud and violent! That's what he meant! …Right, Hiei? …You traitor!

"Yusuke, Joruri, that was uncalled for. And please, if you're going to be perverted, wait until after breakfast." Kurama sighed. Just once he'd like to get through a peaceful breakfast that didn't involve or include in any way shape or form yelling, threats, and someone storming off in a rage.

A mental image began forming, of Akane in a silly little maids outfit, looking vulnerable, innocent and… well, submissive, just like Yusuke said. Hiei had to fight back a blush, the pervert**. (But if I'm writing this, does that make me a pervert as well?)**

"Hiei! Thinking about my sister like that! I can't believe you!" Joruri said in mock disgust.

"Get outa my head you damn wolf!" the jaganshi snapped.

"Never! Mua ha ha ha ha ha!" the wolf demon cackled.

"Joruri, Hiei, fight outside, not at the table." Kurama chimed in.

Breakfast carried on quiet and quickly, and soon Hiei left to train, and Yusuke and Kuwabara went out to rent some movies. Kurama and Joruri each sat on separate ends of the couch, Joruri watching Animal Planet and Kurama thinking.

_It's hard to believe that they've put up with us for so long. I'm also rather surprised that not even Hiei can tell what Joruri is thinking. She doesn't show any true emotions other than irritation and a morbid entertainment in the world around her… everything else is nothing but jokes, sarcasm and mocking. _Kurama thought… thoughtfully.

_Joruri really is amazing though. She has a strange captivating aura, and her eyes… as soon as you get past the coldness, they really are rather beautiful…_

"Aw, you're sweet." Joruri smiled.

"Reh?!" Kurama blushed, almost jumping out of his seat.

"…Telepath, remember?"

"How could I forget?"

"Beats me. I mean, I never leave anyone alone about their secret inner most thoughts." Joruri said nonchalantly.

"…How you seem so at ease with that disturbs me." Kurama stated.

"It's a gift and a lifestyle." Joruri smiled, waving any questions of with her hand. She then got up and sat on his lap.

"What-who-kfjsd;f?!"

"Real eloquent, Kurama." Joruri chuckled, morphing into a wolf cub and falling asleep on his lap.

The befuddled Kurama looked down on his lap, and blushed. Akane looked around the corner of the hall and saw this, smiling.

_Bout time that crazy betch had someone else to hassle._ She thought, walking to her room.

**Okay, sorry this is late, I've had major writers block ever since I read My Immortal…. –shudders- NEVER. AGAIN.** **Anyway, WOO! Joruri-character development! …Kinda. Sorta. Okay, maybe not, I don't know. Review please! **


	5. A Special Announcement

Evening, friends and readers. Now, you might be wondering why I havent updated in like, forever. Well, I have an explanation. I'm restarting this story. Only, on a different account- xxLittle Miss Chaos. I'll be starting from scratch, of course. Please do check it out- the first chapter should be up tomorrow, most likely the afternoon. That is to say. July 19th, 2010. You never know when someone might read this. I hope to have a much better updating schedule, and I hope the new and improved version is... well, improved. To my readers, should I still have any, thank you and please see the new story tomorrow. With love, Wing Atol, now known as Little Miss Chaos.


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